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Be your own best friend

This week I’ve been talking quite a bit with some of my coaching clients about how to become your very own best friend. The truth is, so many of us aren’t nice enough to ourselves and look for validation and love from others and not from ourselves. Today I want to touch on learning how to become your own best friend, as I think this might be of use to many of my readers including you! 🥰

Something I’ve learned over the years is this – THE TRUTH IS, THE ONLY PERSON YOU CAN ALWAYS TRULY COUNT ON IS YOURSELF. You’re with yourself 100% of the time whilst your loved ones aren’t. So, isn’t it far better to know how to support yourself in times of need and be able to give yourself the self-care and love that you need?

Here are some of my top tips to be start being your very own best friend.

BE NICE TO YOURSELF

The first major step to becoming your very own best friend is treat yourself like you would treat a friend. That means that you need to stop being self-critical and always beating yourself up. When you catch yourself participating in nasty self-talk, stop and ask, “Would I say this to my best friend?” If not, then reframe your self-talk to being far more supportive and caring. More importantly, start acknowledging your good qualities and talents.

Start to appreciate your own fabulous self. Write down your good points and have them on a list so that you can remind yourself daily all your wonderful qualities.

IMAGINE HOW YOU WOULD SUPPORT A FRIEND IN THE SAME SITUATION
If you’re going through a challenging situation and you’re struggling, then think about a loved one and imagine that they’re going through the same situation that you’re currently facing. Then think about how they’re struggling with this problem and how you would guide them with how to deal with the situation. Choose the words and phrases that you would say to them and say them gently to yourself. Allow yourself to feel supported and be kind to yourself as you would your friend or loved one.

LISTEN TO YOUR NEEDS AND WANTS

It’s so important to listen to your own body and start putting your own needs first. Do you need a day off from work? Do you need an early night? Do you need a wild night? Do you need to schedule in more time for self-care and exercise? Do you need start juicing? Do you need to meditate? What do you need? Allow yourself to put it at the top of the list rather than the bottom. Be there for yourself and make it happen. You do you gorgeous.

DON’T BELIEVE ALL THOUGHTS

Sometimes thoughts pop into our minds and they really shouldn’t always be believed or listened to. Thoughts aren’t facts. If you’re struggling with negative thoughts like “I’m not good enough” or “I can’t do this” then remember that it’s your choice whether or not you believe those thoughts. Standing back to get some distance and perspective from thoughts is a good idea. No need to engage with them, just let them wander on. I find this very helpful sometimes. Let the thoughts drift off if they aren’t serving you.

SEND LOVE TO YOURSELF

Sometimes we just need to send love and compassion to ourselves. Imagine how a loving mum would hold her child if they hurt themselves. She would simply hold her child with loving, comforting arms and whisper, “Everything will be ok”. The child trusts their mother’s words, just as you will learn to trust your own words when you speak to yourself. Imagine yourself as both the mother and child and offer compassion and love to yourself at the same time as you receive it. Start being there for yourself.

LOVE YOURSELF AND BE YOUR VERY OWN BEST FRIEND. YOU’RE AMAZING AND YOU NEED TO BE YOUR NUMBER ONE SUPPORTER IN THIS WORLD.

So, what today can you start doing for yourself today to feel more loved and nurtured?

Need more help with self-love and acceptance? Then check out my mindset coaching.

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